It has been 23 years since we left you, I can hardly remember your face. I was 2 years when mom held me in her hand and my sister (months baby) in her arms and fled from the home which is supposed to be ours. we grew up hearing from my mother not to meet you ever again, I grew up without you being there to hold my hand when i would fall, I grew up without you being there when I first has my period, when I first had a crush, when I fell in love, when I graduated from school, when I first took a plane, when I had a job for the first time. You were never there when I wanted to cry holding on to your arms. you were never there when all the other kids had both their parents on parents meet, or graduations. I grew up in pain because you were there far far away, away from me, away from everything you would see of me and be proud of me and for everything else which isn’t right to be there and guide me. I had to lie to the world that you were dead, not literally but I accepted in my heart that I would never see you again. Would never know how you would look when you grow old. I am now a parent myself, and have a daughter, I can never imagine how it would be without being a part of her. I missed you as a parent, the alpha parent. the guider, adviser, the care-taker, the first love, and my king. I grew up to the saying to another man I would be a queen but to my father, I would always be his princess. Even Gods didn’t want our meet to happen, I travelled around the world, made several of my own decisions,but deep down i always wished I had someone like you to be there for me always. Since I haven’t met you in such a long time i always imagined how it would be when I see you. I thought of you to be kind and gentle. respectful, loving and have all the best qualities of a dad. Because after hearing all the bullshit i grew up with from my mothers parents, I did not believe it in my heart but i lived with the bitter sadness that was it really the man that they mention as the monster, my dad? I recollect a incident at school, when i shared about you to whom i thought of to be my best friend, that you were still alive, she shared it with others, and they all mocked at me saying I am a fatherless girl having a father. There are several such moments in my life that left me feeling bitter. but you know, I never gave up on you, like you never did. In your heart, I heard from a relative, that your daughter, that is me, would come and meet you one day and be with you and share all the pain and joy that we couldn’t for those damned 23 years. and they say dreams can come true, the day I met you, so unexpectedly, thanks to my partner for persuading me to meet you, I was not convinced at the beginning but then after listening to my heart several times, I decided I will meet you, after all, I am a part of you as you are to me. I loved you Dad all my life, even those countless days and outnumbered times I haven’t been with you. The day finally arrived, after 23 effin years, that late afternoon, I did surprise you right? din’t I? I am sure you were excited. I was, trust me. My heart pounded when I saw you in a far distance, and when i came to you, held your hands in my mine from that moment, I knew I was never alone in my thoughts. The joyful tears i shed i will never forget. I was the happiest that day. I had several mixed feelings. Even words cannot explain what I felt that day. so many unanswered questions, so much to talk and share. and many more. but I knew this wasn’t the only day, as from now on you will always be there for me and I for you. I am so thankful to the Almighty to answer your prayers and bond us into that unbreakable love we always had. Now we cannot be divided or separated. we are one and always will be. I love you, Dad. I will forever.
tête–à–tête of my memoir 