How does it feel to have a lifestyle where you are living with a partner whom your not married to but having an child who is 9 months old, where in this partner who is your love is battling with divorce for 2 years and having 2 kids? And having to see your partner communicate to his ex in a submissive way as he is afraid to loose his children? Where the ex takes control of his past, present and future? And because of whom you are unable to get married to the person who you think is your only world and where your life revolves around his doings?
Can love alone be enough to strongly hold this almost getting broken relationship? As much as you know in your heart he is loyal to only you and how much you both love each other, is that enough at all? But then why does it hurt? The very thought or being physically present in a situation where your love is speaking to his ex in front of you whilst you wait in the car hurt so much? Is it because you are possessive towards your love? Or is it because you love him too much your afraid he might let go off you! Why do you have a feeling of insecurity when you know he loves you a lot to keep you safe?
Why aren’t you able to find answers to any of these questions? Can your soul answer these questions to you? Can you find them hidden deep within your mind? You cannot sleep! Your mind filled with the thoughts of loneliness. Having so much to speak and you are unable to speak it out! Your souls cries out for comfort! Who should it go to for a safe shoulder? Should you go back to your love inspite everything that’s been going on?
I wish there are answers to each and every question that arises inside me for every thing that is going on in my life. I want to have the same feeling that an empty cup receives when wine is poured until it’s brim. The feeling of satisfaction. The feeling of being loved without prejudices. The feeling to have some one by your side unconditionally no matter what the situation might be.
I just want to be loved purely.